The Wife I wasn't proud of...

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Tomorrow Bryan + I will have been married for 5 months (I know a lifetime, right ;) While I'd love to show you some beautiful photos and tell you how amazing life is, I thought it would be more revealing if I would be honest about the last 5 months in the hope that it would help someone reading this... 

As I looked into that amazing little makeup mirror that my husband so observantly saw me admire in a recent hotel stay, little did I know that he ordered it that same weekend, and installed it before another week would pass. Maybe it was the 10x magnification, or maybe it was that handy little LED light, but I didn't like the wife that looked back at me

What I saw was a wife who has spent the last 5 months trying to be so generous + giving to literally EVERYONE other than her husband. 

I saw a wife who let every custody battle, every travel schedule, and every sick child take scheduling priority over her own husband. 

I saw a wife who has cooked less than 1% of the meals we've eaten together. More nights than not I haven’t been as patient as I would expect him to be toward me. My dogs have picked up interesting habits due to the piling loads of laundry; just the other day I found a pair of socks far from the pile in which they originated.

I saw a wife who has taken TWO weekends off from work since returning from our honeymoon in June + I'm pretty sure I found a way to sneak in some emails and edits during those weekends too.

In short, I saw a wife I wasn't proud of. 

Ouch. 

This recount may sound like an overreaction or it may even sound a little callous + I don't mean it to be. Bryan and I’ve had many laughs and good times in the last 5 months - there's not a place in the world I'd rather be than with him... yet I haven't been there.

I love my husband more than anything in the world + I can't say enough about how perfectly he loves me. So I wanted to take this moment as the perfect opportunity to reflect on my life, our life. Our life now… and how I want it to be in the future.

My uncle shared a quote yesterday "The problem is we think we have time" - Buddha and it summed up the last 5 months for me. I've been so busy working + focusing my attention on other things that I've ignored the man I MARRIED. I've lived like he will always be there. I've lived like I have all the time in the world to do it all. I’ve taken things for granted. Life is precious and can change instantly and forever without as much as a hint or a whisper.

So as I prepare to take off some time from shooting {Starting November 19th} + learn how to BE A WIFE, I hope this encourages you to say NO to the unending demands that each day presents and say YES to what is truly important in your life.

#ItMatters

 

Happy FIRST Birthday Bossley!

Hard to even believe our little nugget is already 1 year old!! Bossley has been such a wonderful addition to our family he is full of so much spunk and love. He loves to chase Indy, jump really really high, eat (anything), play with sticks, and chew his baby dino. He's been such a good little brother to Indy! We LOVE YOU Bossley Jerome Kay and we are so happy you are ours! 

Bossley and I had such a fun afternoon smashing his birthday cake at our friend Amber Robinson's downtown studio! Big Thank you to Gourmutts bakery for baking that amazing doggie cake, Bossely & Indy LOOOOOOVED it! ;-) 

Kay Manor

Eeeeekkkk I can hardly contain my excitement of seeing Kay Manor's first snow, just weeks before we celebrate ONE whole year here. So hard to believe, so many firsts in this beautiful HOME.  ❄️⛄️

 

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Last night we ran out really quickly as the snow started rolling in..... GORGEOUS!!!!!! ❄️❄️❄️❄️ 

 

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Early morning, Bryan is thinking we got about 5 inches here in North Raleigh! ❄️⛄️❄️⛄️ 

 

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Enjoy your snow day!!!! 

Love, EmilieCarol

Life as we know it.

Life as we know it & some BIG news.

I was on a retreat with my cohort my senior year of collage and I had one of those moments that where you entire world shuts off. You realize I wasn't made for this. As much as I dearly loved Western, my lifelong friendships, and internship. THIS wasn't meant for me. It's a hard thing to stomach, being a senior in college and realizing the journey you just went on might not end like you dreamed. So long story short EmilieCarol Photography was born the fall of the Senior year, by the time I graduated it was clear it would be full time soon, so I went for it. I jumped in head first, I took the largest crash course of my life.  I devoted every penny, every decision, and every relationship to building this business. I worked harder than I ever had in my whole life, I loved, I laughed, I cried. I have no regrets. It taught me SO much about life, it grew me up quickly. I was now on this large stage, and it was go time. It was exciting it kept me traveling 40+ weeks a year, every day brought a bright exciting new opportunity and I SAID YES to them all. I allowed this rapid success of my business to distort the reality. I remember my family saying often how I lived in my own world and I just acted on every impulse and did everything how I wanted and when I wanted. I embodied that role to the core of my being. 

TV time out- there is NOTHING wrong with that, and if you are someone pouring it ALL into building a business, keep pushing. it's worth it all, and no matter what the next chapter of my life brings, there isn't one single thing I would regret about what I poured into my business. 

So fast forward to July of 2013. I decided to close my studio for the month, lay by the pool, and take the month off. Seems like a dream, and for a day it was. I quickly realized the next month of my life would reveal more about my character, family , and life than any other moment in my life. July & August brought my entire family to their knees, it was the most humbling time in my life. I was at the top of my career and bottom of my life. I was being thrown heartbreak after heartbreak and I was standing on sinking ground. I spent many nights with my Dad in the hospital, with no answers, more surgery and only small victories. I was so thankful that for whatever selfish reasons lead me to take the month off were really protecting me from the only thing I would have ever regretted. Not being there. I spent all my time by my families side, and I realized that's where I belonged. That since I was 16, I had been searching for where I belonged, but was way to traumatized and stubborn to admit that where I belonged was home. That same month I met sweet Bryan, there simply not enough words to explain that man. He loves me so well. He loves me to be ME, the best ME. Every single day. It's hard to be yourself... every girl dreams of a fairy tale, but what every girl should really dream of is man that loves her enough to challenge her to greatness day in and day out. It's the biggest fairy tale of all, because when you push to be yourself day in and day out, you discover this contentment that is second to none. 

January rolled around and I decided I wanted to spend more time home, step back from the daily studio duties and really allow myself to focus on a core group of clients every year. I had new loves, and a family that needed me. So I opened an office here to try to start building my business in the Raleigh area, knowing my end game was to live close to Family & Bryan. I didn't know how it would work out, and I still had so much going on I just began focusing on day to day and allowing fate to take it's course. 

Bryan and I decided we were ready to have a place to call home. I was terrified and worried so I felt the need to hoover over his process every day. Call realtors all the time, etc. It wasn't a good for us. I came to realization that for this to really work for us, I was going to have to trust that he could choose a realtor, find us a house, without me ever seeing it. I stepped back and trusted him to lead us. There aren't really words to explain the first time I saw our house, it was an overwhelming feeling knowing that not only had it knocked it out of the park, but I gave up enough control of this situation to allow greatness. I couldn't have built a house this perfect, if it was up to me. BIG THANK YOU to our awesome realtor, WE LOVE YOU Lindsay!  

SO this really long blog post is really to tell you some exciting news that you probably already know, and what to expect moving forward. 

1. I am OFFICIALLY moving to Raleigh, North Carolina. 

heres a photo of our NEW house :)

2. I am closing my Greenville, South Carolina studio, however I am STILL a photographer, and still shoot all the same fun things, just not in the same studio, and maybe not as much. ;-)

{officially June 1st, still have some openings in May} 

3. In January I became the CEO of a brand new record label ENU Records, and took over managing my brothers solo career. 

What to expect

this summer is going to be a big transition for me, I maybe slow to respond, and slower to act. I will do my very best to accommodate as much as I can, so thank you in advance for your patience as I move myself and my office. 

1. Raleigh, will be my official home, and as much as I can I will try to work from here. I am expanding my market here, but also will be traveling a lot, however at this time I am not looking to open a new studio.

2. I will still be working ALOT in Greenville, South Carolina. I have contracts in Greenville through 2015, so I will be back ALOT! SO Please know that I am committed to maintaining my clients there as much as I can. After June 1st, I will be releasing dates for people to choose from, but if you have  wedding, party, deadline for photos PLEASE email me as soon as you can with the dates. 

3. stay tuned to Instagram + Facebook etc, and our mailing list for exciting updates in my NEW venture, as my brother + the other artists I work with careers take off! 

Also enjoy the overload of Indy photos. :)

Lastly, THANK YOU. 

Thank you for making me a better person, holding me accountable, and loving me all the same.

Love, EmilieCarol